oddEvan.com

Dating is weird.

When describing dating, I like the line my old RUF minister used.

Dating is getting to know someone for the purposes of finding a spouse.

What makes dating so weird is that it isn’t defined in the Bible anywhere. There’s single, betrothed, and married. Dating is… in between single and betrothed, I think. Two people are in a serious, exclusive relationship but aren’t making a formal commitment yet.

It’s that lack of formal commitment that irks me. While two people are still getting to know each other, that freedom is important. To know that if an insurmountable issue comes along one is free to leave is necessary in the early stages of a relationship. Both parties are in the relationship by choice, not by coercion.

It’s when there are no more insurmountable issues that things become problematic. When both parties have confessed their darkest secrets and are still able to be with each other. When any pet peeve or political difference is insignificant next to the other’s good character or sense of awesome music. When any intentional or accidental injury is overcome by an ability to forgive that is itself brought on by being forgiven of much more. When both parties are so invested in the relationship, commitment is required.

At this point, the relationship is on shaky ground. While both members may fully intend to stay in the relationship, there is very little to insure those intentions become actions. There is no formal commitment holding the relationship together; both parties are in the relationship by choice. For some, this is enough.

But not me.

My friends, I am hereby swearing off dating. Forever. I can no longer allow myself to invest in a relationship without a sure future, and I cannot ask the other to remain in this relationship with us separated by 200 miles and only the vaguest promise of one day returning for a weekend. It is not worth my time or hers in a relationship with no sure future.

That’s why we’re making it a sure future.

And she said yes.

I’ve largely taken a back seat on the whole file sharing debate. However, now that I actually have a self-published work I feel it is time for me to make a public stance. Here goes…

I’m going to have to agree with John Gruber’s assessment of Richard Stallman’s latest essay:

I waver between rolling my eyes at Stallman’s kookiness and admiring his singleminded determination.

In my case, however¹, Stallman’s kookiness extends to a large portion of the Free Software Foundation’s philosophies. Above all else, the FSF champions the right to modify and redistribute software. I have no problem with this goal as I will often promote a free or open source program (which apparently are not the same) when it is a viable alternative to a commercial program. I use WordPress instead of ExpressionEngine. I use The GIMP instead of Photoshop. But I use Safari instead of Firefox because I find Safari to be faster on my Mac. In my case, I am willing to give up a “freedom” that I don’t really use (the ability to modify the source code) in exchange for a more pleasant computing experience.

It is Richard Stallman’s opinion on creative works that I find unacceptable². Never mind that because not all Creative Commons licenses are free he refuses to endorse any of them (he, of course, suggests the GPL). What is dangerous is that he equates creative works such as movies and music with information and file sharing with the general term “sharing.” In doing so, Stallman shows his background as a computer scientist. A program is written to solve a problem; the FSF’s arguments that there are more benefits to releasing the source are valid here largely because the program can benefit from the scientific method. Information wants to be free, and the solution to the problem (the program) is simply another form of information.

A creative work, however, is not simply information. It does not consist of simple facts or present a solution to an established problem. It is, when done properly, a reflection of the author or artist’s heart. It can be anything from a commentary on society to a rewrite of a poorly done movie to an attempt to reconcile temporal existence with eternal life. As such, creative works cannot be held to the same standards as computer programs, and vice versa.

Equating creative works to information reduces the author’s creative expression to its digital format, an act of language that cheapens the work even more than the term content. And distributing digital creative works over file sharing is not simply sharing, it is copying. Like anything distributed over the internet, the digital information is copied, not moved, from one computer to another. Loaning a CD or a book to a friend is sharing, since while one is in possession of it the other is not. File sharing creates copies, so that both are in possession at the same time. While not necessarily the same as theft, this cannot, by any reasonable definition, be considered sharing.

This is not to say I am against file sharing as a whole. There are hundreds of out-of-print and hard-to-find works that can benefit from file sharing in order to preserve their value to society. Also, it can be used by lesser known artists to encourage the viral word-of-mouth growth that is essential to growing a fanbase. This is the aim of Creative Commons, and I am disappointed that a man committed to “freedom” refuses to acknowledge the benefits of such a system.

¹ John Gruber may agree with me, but I won’t presume to speak for him.

² Yes, it’s a Wayback Machine link. The post as linked from the original slashdot article no longer exists.

I had a job satisfaction crisis earlier in the week. In reality it was more of a life satisfaction crisis, but a crisis of that kind is usually called a “mid-life crisis” and isn’t supposed to come until you’re 32, not 23. Besides, it wasn’t that bad. In fact, it led to a realization that, while not completely positive, is better than the depths of despair.

This particular crisis was instigated by the realization that I’m spending a third of my time on a project that isn’t mine. I knew that going in. That’s what comes with any job where you aren’t self-employed. Duh. I figured I’d make up for it with my spare time projects like I had been doing in college. For a while I did that, and I managed to get my album out the door in the process. And then it stopped.

Normally around this point I’d say something to the effect of ‘I have no idea why I stopped.’ But now I do. See, I’ve finally realized that I work best creatively in a clean environment. And my room is a mess. But logically it makes sense. Why does my room get in a mess? Because I don’t feel like I have the energy to put things in their proper place. In other words, if my life is a mess, my room is a mess. So if my room is a mess, I feel like my life is a mess and therefore cannot focus my creative energy appropriately.

Right now, my room is a mess. That’s about to change. Brittany, hold me to that.

Yeah… about those regular updates…

2008 ended and 2009 began with me and the woman in Charleston preceded and followed by trips to Greenville. From the time I got to Greenville by myself to the time I left Greenville by myself we were in the same building/area (except for 15 min. where I drove my mom somewhere). Constant company. I had typed up most of a blog post on the ramifications of this… but I eated it¹. Suffice it to say… In some relationships the people are growing away from each other. Ours is not one of those.

I still have my dreams of turning this into a site worthy of being called a Daring Fireball knock-off, but I can’t seem to pull myself away from Sonic Unleashed long enough to do that. Or edit those videos.

The good news, though, is madcrasher.com is finally in some semblance of order (though not done) and the new CD Identity is not only available from CD Baby but also iTunes! So go buy it…

I’m going to try to have some sort of well-thought-out blog post once a week here. Key word is try. I make no promises.

¹ Actually, I couldn’t form a clear main idea out of the shambles of my emotions. What I could come up with wasn’t really suitable for this blog. Yes, there is stuff about myself that isn’t on the internet, and it will stay off the internet.

If I had to sum up 2008 in one word, it would be “woah.” If you could give me an extra word, though, it would be “growing up.” In my personal life (and in some ways the world around me) this year has been about growing up.

2008 was the year I finally had to come to grips with the fact that not everyone I meet or spend time with will like me. And even when I’ve apologized as much as I can (or even farther), other people may still decide not to forgive me (despite what they say to my face). And in the end, what I’m responsible for is forgiving them; anything past that is in God’s hands.

2008 was when I was hit in the face with the fact that the best laid plans of mice and men will quickly come to ruin, especially if God has anything to say about it. Case in point: this time last year I was hoping to get a web development job in Greenville. Between February and April, I shifted focus and ended up taking a .NET programming job in Charleston after being offered my ideal position in Greenville. Crazy, huh?

2008 was when we as a nation finally realized that placing most of our investments in funds and bonds that were so complicated even the best economists didn’t know exactly how they worked was a bad idea. Those funds? They were backed by shaky mortgages. Maybe easy access to credit isn’t such a great idea after all…

2008 was also when we as a nation took another giant step forward in moving past racism. It already says something when people in my generation have to be reminded that racism exists. I know that it is far from eradicated—and this election doesn’t change that—but as a symbolic gesture, the fact that we have elected a president whose skin tone is different from the majority of the population says that it is far less of a stumbling block than it once was.

2008 was when I realized that maybe I had skills other people might want. I thought it would be much more of a struggle than it was to find a job. Yes, I interviewed several places that said I wasn’t experienced enough, but I still received more than one job offer. I still ended up talking to organizations that I never thought would consider me.

And that spilled over into other areas too. See, 2008 was the year I finally got tired of being the odd-numbered wheel. But since I wasn’t willing to try my luck with anyone around me, I signed up for an online dating service. And said so on facebook. And was promptly chewed out by someone I was kinda interested in. See, there were people around me that I was afraid to notice. But when I finally decided to allow myself to think in that direction…

2008 will always be the year I graduated. The year I got my first job. Moved out. Finished my CD. But I will always remember this year as the year I fell in love.

Maybe growing up isn’t so bad after all…

For clarification’s sake: I wrote this post while waiting in line to vote at the polls this past election day. Me being my usual lazy self, I haven’t pulled it off my phone until now. Enjoy!

I have not felt this disconnected since… well, the last time I didn’t have cell phone signal. With no Internet and therefore no connection to my beloved amateur fiction, I’ve got nothing left to do but test out WordPress for iPhone. Thus, this post.

For my fellow Charlestonians, I’m voting at Murray LaSaine Elementary. It’s a change from the usual fire station; they wanted the poll workers to have a climate controlled environment. They said it could be a 4-hour wait on the way in. It’s starting to look more like three hours, and hopefully that’s a Disney World-style estimate. And to think I felt guilty about leaving work early…

They have pencil vending machines now? Man, I wish I was back in—wait, no.

Comments like this chicken-or-crap essay pointed out by John Gruber notwithstanding, I’m still on the fence to a certain degree about this election. I’ve appreciated John McCain’s willingness to go against the party establishment the past few years, a reason I’ll be voting for our current senator as well. On the other hand, Barack Obama appears to have a solid technology platform and it’s undoubtable that he’s inspired a lot of people to take interest in politics.

At the end of the day, I want to make an informed decision and choose the candidate that aligns most closely with what I believe. Now, my most closely held beliefs may or may not be held by the candidates; in today’s political environment it’s almost impossible to tell what beliefs are genuine. (Not completely impossible, mind you, but those guys don’t typically win, endorsements or not.) As far as political beliefs go, it’s sometimes hard for me to tell just what I believe. Less government spending is good, abortion is bad, morals in general are kinda… not sure. After this policy and that boycott, I’m wondering how right the “Christian right” really is.

Sounds like a job for… a political quiz! Or rather, several. First stop is The Compass, a several-part quiz that shows where you are on a two-dimensional graph that compares social and financial issues. The postmodernist in me is actually quite proud of my position, but other people are not impressed. And it doesn’t help me pick a candidate.

Enter Glassbooth (found via TechCrunch). They’re supposedly nonpartisan and nonbiased, and I’m inclined to believe it. You first pick your most important issues and then rate your position. What I like most about it is that you have the option of remaining neutral on an issue if you so choose. It then compares how you feel about the issues with how the candidates feel about the same issues, and it gives you quotes and voting records to back it up.

So who am I voting for? Should I really have wondered in the first place? Actually, I’ve got more in common with Obama than the Libertarian candidate. Wonder how I would have compared with Ron Paul…

You can see the idea I’ve got for my theme here. Make sure you can scroll up and down.

My illustrious podcast has been delisted from iTunes due to there not being any new episodes for several months. And my illustrious car decided to start hating me last night by giving me both a seriously dead (as in you-can’t-jump-start-it-you-have-to-go-get-a-new-one dead) battery and a flat tire at roughly midnight. Fortunately, the Microsoft of the retail world is open 24 hours and the tire store that’s always having a great day is very good at changing tires first thing in the morning.

I’m dating a very awesome person who is so awesome she’s worth dating even though she lives 212 miles away.

All in all, I’d say the new blog is off to a great start. Now if someone could tell me which OpenID plugin for WordPress actually works, that’d be great.

So… after about 15 minutes of careful deliberation, I realized that I’m probably better off sticking with WordPress for the time being. Biggest reasons are 1) I already know how to theme it, 2) I already know how to use it, and 3) it has an iPhone client.

But chyrp is still very cool and you should still check it out. I just need to stick with what I know for the time being, as pathetic as that is.

Old posts are still archived at the oddEvan archive. And I got my fancy Evan Hildreth button that isn’t up yet from the brilliant button maker which is also very cool.